Unbelievable
by ClaraMarch
Summary: "Alec was looking at the doorbell, not quite sure it had been such a bright idea after all to come here. He couldn't even bring himself to talk to Magnus on the phone, so how on earth would this be going to work out." Malec. Set before COHF. Rated M for whats to come. English is not my mother tongue, so reviews are highly appreciated.
1. Chapter 1

Alec was looking at the doorbell, not quite sure it had been such a bright idea after all to come here. He couldn't even bring himself to talk to Magnus on the phone, so how on earth would this be going to work out. His stomach felt hollow and he could hear his own blood pulsating through his veins, his heart pumping it way too fast through his system due to his anxiousness. It didn't help that he was looking like a mess right now. He felt mud and demon blood sticking to his gear and skin and the painful pounding were one of the filthy demons got its claws into the flesh of his torso, directly underneath the ribcage. His muscles contracted uncontrollably as black demon blood tripped from his torn leather gear into the wound causing a nasty burning pain that made Alec think of acid burning its way through metal. He swallowed hard and tried to focus. He had to ring the damn bell to tell Magnus how sorry he was even if it was the last thing he did. That was his plan, which did now seem not quite as convincing as on his way to Brooklyn. He wished to still have the keys to the front door and Magnus' flat itself. It would have been, well not really more graceful- showing up dirty and bloody on ones doorstep hardly inhabited any grace-, but better than having to ask for permission to come up .He pressed his forehead to the cold material of the door and finally pushed the button, instinctively imagining the all too familiar ringing sound echoing through Magus' flat, waking him up. Alec had a pretty vivid picture in mind of the look on the warlock's face as he was cursing whoever was ringing him out of bed and the thought made him smile.

The speaker made a little cracking noise and then Magnus' voice got audible, sleepy but loud: "May you be the ruler of heaven or hell itself, I hope this is important!"

"It's me." Alec knew he ought to say more but somehow his mind felt fluid taking every coherent thought away.

No answer. He felt a dumb sting that had nothing to do with his physical suffering. Only a few seconds had past when suddenly the door seemed to disappear and for the fraction of a second he thought his mind was starting to play tricks with him, making him hallucinating. Maybe he had lost too much blood or the demon was poisoning after all. But then he realized that the door beneath him was actually gone, letting him fall into the steady grip of a tall, slender figure. He felt a familiar body against its own, also familiar hands caressing his face and as he lifted his head, Alec looked right into green-golden cat-eyes, wide and worried.

"Sorry I came here I just wanted..." His mind went off again and it took all the concentration he could still come up with to finish the sentence. "Apologize...to apologize and ...see you"

He had the feeling of being lifted up from the ground, feet no longer touching it, but before he could actually wonder about it he finally passed out.

Magnus struggled to get Alec out of his torn and bloody shadowhunter-gear. He had thought about magically removing it but wasn't quite sure if blood and mud made the gear stick to Alec's skin and just snipping the clothes away would have the same effect as violently ripping it off. No, he had to be gentle, trying to do as less damage as possible. After all his own powers weren't unlimited and he still had a lot of healing work to do. The only thing he'd actually done by now was stopping the bleeding. Now he was peeling Alec out of a black leather vest and removed his weapon-belt. His bow was already lying next to the front door as well as his coat. Magnus slid his hands under Alec's shirt whose washed out black colour was only noticeable at the corners, the rest was darkened with blood, but Magnus didn't care if he got his hands dirty. As he lifted the shirt slightly and began to pull it up like one would remove a band-aid, Alec's eyelids fluttered a little. He pulled the torn cloth over Alec's head and carelessly let it fall to the ground.

The wound went deep and an image creped it's way into his mind: Claws sinking into flesh, Alec's flesh, making the boy tumble as the red liquid drips from the torn leather gear. He felt his heart pounding heavily inside his chest as it always did when concern would take hold of him. A soft touch put him back into reality: Alec gripping the hand he had rested on his chest. "Magnus...-", he tried but the warlock wouldn't let him speak. "It's all right." he replied softly, but couldn't help secretly cursing that damn shadowhunter-folk. Normal people and many downworlders as well would just have passed out for good by now, but shadowhunters no way. It was as if they were drawn to pain, he thought, maybe their bodies failed at the instincts to avoid it. He couldn't help thinking about Jace. That boy was the best example for his theory, Magnus thought, he was pure trouble and of course Alec as his parabatai always felt compelled to go along. He sighed and hurried up to begin with the healing process. He placed his hands gently on the deep wound and began cleaning it by removing all that thick black demon blood and then worked his way through the multiple damage it had done. As he began to fix a rather big stitch in the liver, he felt Alec's body tense beneath his busy hands. He knew that the boy was in pain, Magnus had seen others scream, cry or pass out during the same process. But Alec just lay there with his eyes close, enduring whatever might come like he had done when Magnus had healed him after that greater demon got hold of him. All he had done back then was clinging on to the cloth he was lying on until it was done. So with his left hand Magnus grabbed Alec's, not bothered by the hard grip the young shadowhunter had. He fixed torn veins, healed a broken rib , made old blood and infected flesh at the corners of the wound disappear and until he finally could close the wound he never let go of his hand. When it was finally done, he laid back, feeling exhausted. Sensing a movement his gaze wandered toward Alec and met the look of those intense blue eyes. "I should go, I guess." he said, managing himself in an upright position, face still suspiciously pale. "Yeah right", Magnus replied. "Because I did just heal you to find you stuck under one of New York's taxis. Come here you stupid nephilim." He offered him his hands, earning a puzzled look, but after what seemed hours of hesitation Alec took them and let Magnus pull him close, legs tangled and head resting on his chest.

The position was so strangely familiar that it made him aware of all the things he had been missing the last month and he fought sleep as long as he could to linger in the embrace, not sure what might happen if he woke up. At some point Magnus' steady heartbeat must have calmed him enough to let him get some sleep. Though not too much as it was still dark outside and Magnus beneath him was still sleeping, eyes closed, so that in the dim light his lashes drew fine shadows down his high cheek bones. Alec couldn't resist to trace those fine contours with his thumb, before he got up, carefully to not wake Magnus up. He ran a hand through his hair, not surprised to find it covered in dirt and blood and tangled up in knots. He started an inner debate whether to use the bathroom or not. For a long time he was just standing there not sure what to do. He couldn't just go, in fact there was no way he would leave this apartment without talking to Magnus again. So he had to wait until Magnus woke up anyway. He wasn't good in such situations and for a moment he considered to just slip back onto the couch and into Magnus' arms. Although the thought was tempting, he finally settled on taking a shower. Making his way to the bathroom he took a short look around the big room. Only now he noticed that down to the white-dotted carpet it was a mix of black and white furniture, which was kind of unlikely for Magnus, Alec thought. After all he once had come to stay the night and found the apartment coloured in literally every shade of pink a person could imagine. The sight had actually – to Magnus' amusement- made him feel dizzy but seeing said apartment void of all colour was nearly as unsettling. The bathroom though looked the same as always, Magnus once said when it came to sanitary nothing could compete with old-fashioned white tiles, although the shower curtain changed colour once in a while. Right now it was of a deep blue. Alec couldn't remember when he got rid of his shoes, but he slipped out of his socks, jeans and undies and went for the shower.

The warm water and the familiar smell of sandalwood were nice and calming and he felt his muscles relax. When he was done he grabbed a towel, slung it around his hips, threw the curtain aside and stepped out of the shower, just to find Magnus standing in the doorframe. He was so surprised that he stopped mid-movement, glued to the spot he was standing in.

All right, that wasn't going according to plan, if you could call "stalking down your ex-boyfriend without any idea what to do further" a proper plan. Although, Magnus thought, stalking wasn't the right word for it, they were in his own apartment after all, not to mention that they had spent the night cuddled up on his sofa.

Alec was still dripping wet. Magnus eyes went from his feet, white and elegant, which were standing in a small puddle of water, up to his strong thighs and the towel that was hanging low enough to show off his hip-bones. Magnus observed his upper body laced with several permanent runes; "stamina, balance, strength..." – Magnus knew them all, was able to read them on Alec's body as one might read a book- a pretty hot book, that is, with perfect abs and arms to die for. Magnus could still recall the night when he traced every one of them with his fingers, letting Alec explain their meanings although he had known nearly all of them before. He hadn't mind, for it had been nice listening to him explaining them, calm and determind like he always was. He thought again about shadowhunters and how they seemed to be drawn to chaos and pain. Alec was different, he thought, he fought and defeated what was out there like every other shadowhunter did, but never searched for it.

Magnus felt the sudden urge to do it again right now, to run his hands along the beautiful pattern of white skin and black runes. He met Alec's gaze and before he could come up with anything to say or do, Alec moved towards him until they were so close that Magnus could feel his breath hot on his own skin. He could sense the tension growing as Alec let his eyes wander down Magnus' body and then up to meet his gaze once again, pupils dilated so that only a rim of the bright blue of his eyes was visible. Another second passed, another breath and then he just grabbed Magnus, one hand around his waist, the other one at his neck, drawing him into a kiss and Magnus couldn't do anything else but make a sound of relief. He kissed him back, running his hands from Alec's shoulders down to the small of his back; under the smooth and still wet skin he could feel strong muscles. The all too familiar enthusiasm of Alec's kiss and the way he moved with the pressure of Magnus' hands further into their embrace, causing both of them to stumble against the wall beside the doorframe, was enough to erase all second thoughts the warlock might have had. It was highly irrational, after all he had come to the conclusion that Alec wasn't good for him, that in fact their relationship wasn't good for any of them, but then again he had felt miserable after the break-up and, although he didn't want to admit it to himself, it wasn't getting any easier. And now Alec was here, kissing a sweet path from his neck up to his jaw line, just to capture Magnus' lips again. It felt damn good and didn't leave much room for rational thoughts. He enjoyed the slight loss of control as all his thoughts were minimized to the sensation of soft skin on skin and the hot taste of Alec's tongue, challenging and yet pleasing. They parted, breathing heavily in need of air. Alec's eyes were wide and unusually didn't shy away, he opened his mouth as if to say anything, but Magnus wouldn't let him, pulling him into another kiss, hard and clumsy mixed with a sting of desperation because he knew whatever it was Alec wanted to say or he would respond could end this, could force him to think clear, which was the last thing he wanted to do now.


	2. Chapter 2

Alec couldn't help himself from making a little surprised noise as Magnus went straight for another kiss, leaving them barely time to breath. His hands slid under Magnus' shirt, which was tight and black, with something written over it, glittery letters in a language he didn't understand. He let them wander up the flat stomach and then down again to grip the front of the shirt and lift it behind Magnus' head, leaving it up to him to take it off completely as he already grabbed his waist, holding the warlock in place while with his tongue he retraced the little curve right above the sternum and then kissed his way down to Magnus's buttonless belly, feeling the soft skin hot under his lips and tasting a mix of soap, sweat and something that was just incomparable Magnus. The shirt fell to the ground beneath them and just a second later Alec felt hands digging into his hair, encouraging him to carry on. He moved up again though for another row of heated kisses. The towel he was still wearing hung very loose by now and as he took a step back, guiding them both away from the wall, it finally hit the floor.

He had barely ever initiated things between them and even then it had just been a kiss that lasted a little bit longer, went deeper than usual, his hands placed on Magnus' lower back or hips. That was all that had been needed to signal that he wanted it to become something more intimate and passionate, but couldn't bring up the courage yet to make the next move, let alone say what he was longing for. Magnus on the other hand did talk, even joke but never in a way that would make Alec feel like he was being made fun of. He remembered one time the warlock had been struggling to get him out of his gear for what had felt like ages but must have been hardly longer than a minute. Alec had felt embarrassed though, unsure what to say or do, but Magnus would just place a light kiss on his temple and whisper in his ear, his voice low and rich, that he never thought having a boyfriend wearing leather for a profession could end up being a problem. And to his surprise Alec would loosen up, even laugh at the joke, undoing the vest himself and letting it slide to the ground.

This here and now was different, he hadn't thought at all, allowing himself to act upon what he actually wanted to do, thus this was the first time he had taken things that far only on his behalf. But even this strange new found confidence couldn't stop the heat rising up from deep inside right to his cheeks, making him blush at the realization that he was standing there, in the light of the bathroom, completely void of clothes or anything else to cover up, whereas Magnus was still wearing pyjama pants made of dark red silk.

He cursed himself for being so damn self-conscious and his body for so easily betraying him. Magnus however took a full-length look, his cat-like eyes gleaming, and flashed him a smile which was way too smug to calm him down. And as their hands were still interlinked loosely, the warlock tightened the grip, pulling Alec back into his arms. Alec inhaled sharply at the sudden contact with only a thin layer of satin between the two of them.

"Your unbelievable Alexander", Magnus' voice was low, slightly hoarse and so full of adornment that it sent a hot wave through Alec's body. He didn't know what specific thing he had done that could be actually marked as unbelievable, but he didn't really care. His senses had sensitized to a point where he was heavily aware of the hand no longer holding his own, but running its fingertips down his side, making him shiver with excitement. All of the sudden the roles had been switched and he wasn't complaining as the control was taken from him, feeling hands placed on his lower back pulling him closer, so close he thought he might go crazy from the sensation of hot skin, from the playful bite to his lower lip or the touch of familiar hands now moving even lower, slowly sliding down the curve of his ass. He put his arms around Magnus' neck and was instantly drawn into another kiss, hard and messy this one, and with soft pressure Magnus reversed their positions, so that Alec was no longer facing the doorframe and he could walk them both out into the hallway, loosening their embrace but not letting go.

He guided them both to his bedroom, but right before they reached the door Magnus took a step forward, pushing the shadowhunter into the wall beside the door, harder than he'd intended but Alec didn't seem to mind. And even as Magnus grabbed his wrists, holding them in place above his head, so that he could move his lips down the other man's upper arm, feeling the slightly uneven scarred skin and the contraction of muscles beneath it as his mouth followed the black lines of a rune down to the armpit. Alec was breathing heavily and as he was pinned between Magnus' own body and the hard bricks in his back Magnus could feel his chest rising and falling, could feel the small amount of more contact every time he would inhale deeply. He looked up, feeling the sudden urge to see the expression on Alec's face and as he did it was like a shock; Alec's dark hair was a mess, not yet dried and standing up in various directions and with the light flush to his cheeks and his eyes wide open he looked very young, reminding Magnus of the many years separating them. He had never actually felt old, but with the way Alec looked at him he was more aware than ever of the differences between his immortality and real youth. It was a look full of desire, but mixed with plain admiration and displayed innocently without any calculation or second thoughts. He couldn't remember anyone ever looking at him like that, not one of his long gone lovers and certainly not Camille. He had given his heart away multiple times, more often than he'd intended to, getting careful with the years as he'd been handed it back torn into shreds too often. But now the realization hit him that he might hold Alec's heart as well as the boy had his and the thought filled him with great affection as well as fear. He let go of Alec's wrists, instead he framed his face with both of his hands, gently pulling him closer to place a sweet kiss on his lips. When they parted, Alec looked rather startled and Magnus couldn't blame him.

"Magnus, what..." but he didn't quite seem to know what to say. The warlock ran a hand through the tousled black hair, rested it on the back of Alec's neck and leaned forward near enough so that he could whisper into his ear.

"Let's take this to the bedroom, shall we?"

He interlaced their fingers as they entered the room nearby.


	3. Chapter 3

The thoughts were running through Alec's head aimlessly and unfocused. There was the obvious, the aching longing for a touch, for friction and the heat of a kiss. In his mind he was already feeling the soft fabric of Magnus' pants as he pushed them down, allowing his hands to feel the heated skin beneath it. But underneath those thoughts clouded by desire and want, lingered this spark of hope that Alec did not want to feed. The hope that this meant more than just falling back in old patterns, allowing them to experience what they both knew felt good. Still a small part of him, the part that throughout everything that happened remained naïve enough, wanted to believe that this here maybe meant that Magnus did forgive him, believe him after all, that he was stupid and insecure and wrong to talk to Camille over and over again, but that he could never have touched his life he held more precious than his own, that he just needed to know… But he couldn't count on that, so he focused all his desperation and frustration on the situation presented to him. Willingly he led Magnus lead both of them to his huge bed which dominated the opposite wall. His eyes wandered feverishly over the other man's body, the brown skin shimmering even more golden than usual in the dim light of the bedroom. His gaze was unfocused and wandered from the defined muscles of his upper arm down to the darkly colored fingernails, back up to the swallowing motion of his adam's apple. He felt overstimulated and as the back of his knees hit the hard wooden bed frame behind him, he gratefully sat down, pulling Magnus on top of him holding on tightly to his waist more to steady himself than to support the warlock, who seemed to be more than willing to follow his motion. Alec ended up sitting on the very edge of the bed with Magnus in his lap. To say he was turned on would've been an understatement at this point, he was hard and could feel Magnus' erection as well, the thin layer of satin not doing much to shelter it. Deciding that they had been long enough without actual skin to skin contact, Alec maneuvered them both onto the yellow comforter, coming to rest on his back while Magnus was kneeling over him. His cat-like eyes meeting his own blue ones as he slipped his hands inside Magnus pajama pants, pulling them down in one rapid motion.

Magnus responded to Alecs urgency with his own, letting himself sink onto the body beneath him, causing the boy to moan. He couldn't even pretend to be unfazed by the sudden contact. Skin on skin with their most sensible parts meeting, he could feel a hot wave of pleasure running through his body. Alec's hands wandered from his waist downwards pulling him closer while arching his back forward causing that delicious kind of friction which made him draw in a stuttered breath. Blue eyes watched him intensely as he pulled the boy up again into a deep kiss, desperate all tongue and teeth, only breaking apart in desperate need of oxygen. Alec let out a breathless chuckle that made Magnus' heart pound even faster. He started to trace his fingers along his lovers features, feeling the delicate structure of his cheekbones and the softness of his kiss-swollen lips. Alec tilted back his head and sighed in relief, exposing a larger part of his neck that practically dared the warlock to touch it. He started to place kisses at the spot of Alec's neck where one of his permanent runes ended. He started sucking on the very same spot, most certainly leaving a mark, and then bit down, causing Alec to suck in a sharp breath.

"God Magnus…"

As he looked up, Magnus saw Alec's eyelids flutter, his hands holding onto the warlock tightly.

"By the Angel please I want you"

Alec would never get more concrete, more graphic, not even now, but it didn't bother Magnus the slightest. On the contrary he found it to be an endearing kind of shyness that suited Alec so well. He didn't even attempt to search his drawer for lube, just let it magically appear as nestled himself between the other man's legs. Coating his fingers with the fluid, he had to psyche himself into waiting a few moments for it to warm up, before pressing one finger gently inside. Alec's grip onto the already rumpled sheets tightened, but other than that he remained fairly silent. Magnus took that as a sign that he could speed up things this night, adding another finger in just the right angle to make Alec moan in pleasure. Encouraged to quickly add a third one, sounds of discomfort ensued, causing him to stop mid-movement and pushing himself up to face the shadowhunter.

"Are you alright?" he asked softly.

Alec let out a breath, he looked as if he was willing himself to relax, face still tense, but his gaze wild and focused on the warlock.

"Yes, yes…" he moaned, "don't stop, ok?"

Magnus stretched out his fingers gently, capturing the moan that followed in a savage kiss. He felt Alec shifting his wait, locking his legs around the other man's waist, a silent invitation, followed by a rather blunt one.

"Magnus, it's enough…please"

That was all Magnus needed to hear, slowly taking away the pressure of his fingers, only to replace them by entering the shadowhunter in one luxurious slide. Alec let out a strangled grunt and the warlock remained motionless for a few minutes, giving them both time to adjust before slowly moving in and out for the first time. Alec reacted promptly, digging his hands into his lower back following his lovers movements while lifting his hips up to meet each thrust. They settled into a steady rhythm for a while, the meeting of flesh and their moans echoing in the tall room being the only thing audible. At some point, Magnus put a hand around the shadowhunters erection, stroking it first gently and then, as their movements became more heated and a lot less coordinated, a lot more frantic. He came first; with Alec's name on his lips and his cock hard in his hand he collapsed bonelessly onto him. It took only a few more strokes to send the boy over the edge as well, coming hard and heavy onto Magnus' hand and his own belly. None of them cared much. Magnus made a washcloth appear out of nowhere and lazily cleaned them up before meeting the boy's lips for a gentle kiss. They didn't speak, just pulled up the covers and soon Alec was asleep, head resting against the warlock's chest and Magnus couldn't help but feel a wave of sadness crashing over him, now that the desire had been stilled for the night.

This still wouldn't work. Couldn't. Not because he couldn't forgive the boy- good god he had forgiven him long ago- but because he didn't see anyone of them getting out of this even remotely happy. What the whole drama with Camille had shown him was, that his immortality was something that would always stand in the way of their relationship. He had ignored it, somewhat successfully in the beginning, but the more time had went by, the more it got clear to him that what they were doing wasn't fair to both of them. It would leave Magnus heartbroken that was unavoidable, if not now by his own choice, then in a few years when one demon hunt proofed too dangerous or in a few decades when death just claimed his natural right. And Alec deserved to be more than just a chapter in someone's life which with Magnus, although he despised the very thought of it, he inevitably would become. Better to walk away now he thought, but couldn't bring himself to walk away quite now. He knew, he should leave until the next day and just write a note, something about how all of it was a mistake and Alec ought to be gone before he comes back. Instead he pulled the other man closer, surrendering to the feeling of safety and comfort and with a sigh followed him into sleep.


End file.
